Feeling ignited and passionate about life is something that can ( and must be) nurtured daily. It affects all of our relationships- intimate, parenting, friendships and with yourself.
As human beings we have a tendency for comfort and control. These often veer us toward a life of structure and routine, at first almost out of survival but often unknowingly they continue to drive our decisions. Slowly allowing us to disconnect, become automatic and mindless day in and day out with what we are doing and who we are with.
When we are chronically in automatic mode, feelings of boredom, unfulfillment, anxiety and even depression can take over. The grooves of our routines get deeper entrenched and we can dig ourselves into a rut.
Our brain is hardwired to seek the new! It needs novel experiences and challenges to further engage and get ignited in life. If you are feeling stuck or in a rut ( in any of your relationships) , it's time to freshen it up!!!
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have seen so many couples struggle and grow apart from getting stuck with the ordinary. It's easy to not take the time to be present and appreciative of one another or make the effort needed to keep it fresh, go on adventures and explore life together.
We have added these 5 strategies into our lives and our relationship. They can be used in any of your relationships- the key is to pick one and schedule it in!
1. Once a quarter ( every 3 months) we aim to get away for at least one night. It doesn't have to be far or expensive so get creative on this one and don't let those excuses deter you from doing it. The goal is not how far we travel but how far we get away with zero interruptions or distractions and be 100% with each other. Do a girls weekend or spa day- connect with the ones you love.
2. Set and schedule a weekly date night! Again, it doesn't have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money- go for coffee, try out a new brewery, take turns to surprise each other with a new restaurant or dinning experience. We've also set clear boundaries for cell phones, topics of conversation ( we do not want to talk about business and children the entire time- we do enough of that). We also aim for 1 monthly date , one on one with each of our daughters- park dates, bookstore, coffee dates are simple and they love it!!!
3. Take in a concert or sporting event. WE LOVE CONCERTS. What's your thing as a couple? What did you like to do when you first started dating? Start there. Plan and make it happen.
4. Travel and go on adventures. Make a list of top 20 destinations each of you would like to go to in your life. Start checking them off the list.. once a year is what we aim for. We also have a list of family vacations we would like to do and the rule on these is to always do something new on each trip- don't just stay in the hotel or the resort.
5. Learn something new. Expand your knowledge. Take a course on writing, photography, singing, instrument, public speaking, online marketing, new sport, art- learning a new skill will also transcend your own boundaries of who you are and what you are able to do in life. Challenge yourself ( hint: do what scares you).
These can apply to any of your relationships in life. I assure you that when you commit to doing these on a regular basis, the spark in your life with grow and get ignited again. I know that I am so much happier, have so much more fun and all of my relationships have improved. It's never to late, all it takes is the decision to start and the desire to change.
"You are never too old and it's never too late."
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